People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
