Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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