there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
