Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
