butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she told me i tasted like america
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
