"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
