just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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