so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
