VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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