Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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