16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she peed on how many people?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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