I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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