Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
