Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
