if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think brook has ever known best
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
