a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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