Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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