Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
