god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
