i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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