I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
