I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
