cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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