Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
