I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
