i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
