Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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