You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
