I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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