Will you blow on my dice?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize