I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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