We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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