he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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