I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
