I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
