I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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