he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
