That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
