She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
