you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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