Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
