just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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