I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize