I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
