There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
