woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
