either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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