The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
