I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
