what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize