my mouth tastes like poor choices
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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