Will you blow on my dice?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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