an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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