I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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