i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
