508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
