i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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