i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
