yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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