A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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