No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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