5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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