it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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